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Be mindful of your inner state as you apply any of the strategies below. Temporary discomfort and distress may be inevitable but usually recedes as you stay with the feeling, experience and acknowledge it rather than fighting or trying to suppress it. However, if you fall into a pit of such despair that it overwhelms your own coping abilities, do not continue. Professional help may be needed.
If you choose to proceed, do so at a time and place that allow privacy without distractions. Some people go to a place of significance in the original painful event that triggers the emotions associated with their memory. Do it your way - whatever that is. Proceed at a pace comfortable to you and take time out from your inner work as needed.
Work with the Body.
In this technique you are not addressing the memory and its emotional charge directly. You work indirectly through the body. The memory will remain but your bodys reaction to the memory can be changed.
Recall the memory. Feel the place in your body where that memory affects you the most. Focus on that part, let it soften and gently breathe into it until the tension or discomfort recede. When that part feels better, again tune into the memory and find another place where the memory affects your body. Repeat as many times as needed. The process will be complete when you can recall the memory calmly or it now seems far away.
Watch a Movie of the Event.
This strategy uses imagination and visualisation. If you find that difficult, do it in your thoughts. When ready, close your eyes and imagine (think) watching yourself in a movie. See (think) yourself as if performing on a screen, safe and okay in a situation before the traumatic experience. Then start the film of the event as you remember it. See what happened, how you and other people acted and anything else that deeply affected you.
You might cry or feel other intense emotions. Let them be but dont get drawn into them. Just sit and watch it all unfold on-screen. At the end, imagine (think) the film being rewound at very fast speed to the safe starting point, i.e. return to the situation when you were okay. Let your emotions settle and realise the event has not destroyed everything. You still have a life right now and ahead of you. You may be different to before the experience, but you are okay.
Tell your Story.
Journalling, writing a book, giving lectures, presenting workshops can neutralise painful memories and have a cathartic effect in the storytellers life.
There are many other ways of working with memories. What strategies have worked for you? How have you been able to transform your painful recollections?
Help yourself and get started now by downloading the free ebook "10 Keys to moving forward when life has changed and checking out other articles at www.christianastar.com
